Dear Daughter in law,
I am deeply and utterly touched by the kind and gorgeous words you have chosen to write to us about your mother in law.
Thank you for taking the time to send this letter.
The Farmers Journal truly appreciates you telling them how big a part of her life they actually are.
Family values and community are crucial to the ethos of the Farmers Journal.
Your care and love for your mother in law feels tangible. You also appear to be very aware and appreciative of how wonderful a mother in law both you and your sister in law have been blessed with.
I truly believe that it takes work, honesty and love from both sides to make any relationship work.
I can imagine that when Nana reads or has this read out to her she will agree completely.
She is fortunate that her darling sons have chosen such good wives and mothers for her grand children.
A good daughter-in-law is an absolute treasure and to have 2 is a complete and utter blessing.
She sounds like a ‘clued-in’ lady and yes Farmer’s Journal does get a lot of letters detailing the struggle between in-laws – particularly between mother- in- laws and daughter- in- laws!!
Her sons are the wonderful men they are today because of the mothering they have received from her.
It is wonderful that you appreciate this fantastic lady – one who speaks her truth and has immense value on ‘family’.
I couldn’t help but smile when you described her playing Christmas Music in Springtime for the kiddies!!
What wonderful memories she has created for them that could possibly be passed on to your children’s children.
The role of a grand parent can play a really influenctial part in a child’s life outside of busy parents.
I can only imagine that all of your beautiful words and reassurance will be of immense comfort to this special lady and you all as she faces her final days.
It sounds like she has been through so much over the past 7 years.
I am truly sorry that Cancer (as you put it) is winning on this occasion.
I hope that she is comfortable presently and getting all the support that she needs.
One of the most heart-breaking and challenging things for us as humans is
to turn towards accepting the fact that at some stage each and every one of us will die,
experience loved ones dying
and that they will leave us in their physical form.
It sounds like you are all preparing yourselves as best you can for your mother in laws passing.
In relation to your children I urge you to include them as much as possible in Nana’s final hours,
and possibly months.
Please do not let your fear’s stop all the family coming together during this extremely sacred time in Nana’s life.
Children tend to be far more resilient that we give them credit for.
They are often full of acceptance (and with the right support) can manage and negotiate many of life’s events.
Our suffering on this earth is often from how we resist ‘what is’
rather than turning towards some sort of clumsy acceptance.
This wonderful lady knows how loved, loving and cherished she is.
Now it is time to throw your fears away…
turn towards your tears,
your sad hearts
and allow yourselves to melt together with grace,
in honour of this truly wonderful being who you are priviledged to call
your mother in law…
‘When we lose someone we love we must learn not to live without them, but to live with the love they left behind.’Anonymous
For more information on how to cope with grief please contact Harriet on 086 – 2685916